BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE

BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE



Our Birth is our Opening Balance !

Our Death is our Closing Balance!
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities

Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset

Soul is our Fixed Asset

Brain is our Fixed Deposit

Thinking is our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital

Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade

Friends are our General Reserves

Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill

Patience is our Interest Earned

Love is our Dividend

Children are our Bonus Issues

Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment

Experience is our Premium Account

The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.

The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.


Some very Good and Very bad things ...

The most destructive habit......................Worry

The greatest Joy ...........Giving

The greatest loss .....Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work ........Helping others

The ugliest personality trait ......Selfishness

The most endangered species ....Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resource .........Our youth

The greatest "shot in the arm" .......Encouragement

The greatest problem to overcome ....... Fear

The most effective sleeping pill ......Peace of mind

The most crippling failure disease ............ Excuses

The most powerful force in life .......Love

The most dangerous pariah ........... A gossiper

The world's most incredible computer ...... The brain

The worst thing to be without .............. Hope

The deadliest weapon ..........The tongue

The two most power-filled words .........."I Can"

The greatest asset ..............Faith

The most worthless emotion .........Self-pity

The most beautiful attire ..........SMILE!

The most prized possession .........Integrity

The most powerful channel of communication .....Prayer

The most contagious spirit .....Enthusiasm

The most important thing in life .......GOD

Life ends; when you stop Dreaming,
Hope ends; when you stop Believing,
Love ends; when you stop Caring,
And Friendship ends; when you stop Sharing

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Men Never Listen

A man and his wife receive a letter from their daughter who went to study overseas:

My beloved Parents, I miss you so much. I don't know when I'm coming home, but it seems not anytime soon. It breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back you'll be too old. So enclosed you will find a bottle of a potion I have invented. It will make you young, so when I return you'll be the same age as I left you. NOTE: "Please take only one drop"
NOTE: "Please take only one drop"

So they open the envelope and in it there is a bottle with a red potion..
The husband looks at the wife and says: "You go first."

So the wife opens the bottle and takes a drop, there after the husband follows. Indeed they do turn 5 years younger.

A year passes and the daughter returns home to find her mother young and beautiful, carrying a baby on her back.
The mother proceeds to tell her daughter how the potion worked and made her look young.

The daughter is delighted and asks about her father.
"Your father, my child, got so jealous that I was young and beautiful so he drank the whole bottle."
"So where is he?"

"Oh, that's him I have on my back."

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The Most Memorable Birthday

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
When it became apparent that we would marry, I made
the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down
on the way home from work. Since I lived in the
countryside I called my husband and told him that I
would be late because I had to walk home. On my way,
I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked
beans
was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I
figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the
time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and
before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders
of
baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I
released ALL the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me
and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise
for dinner tonight!"

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the
dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about
to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made
me promise not to touch the blindfold until he
returned and went
to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting
me
and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so
while my husband was out of the room I seized the
opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one
go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a
pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and
fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three
more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage!!!

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation
in
the other room, I went on like this for another few
minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the
telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom,
I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my
napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back
on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when
my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold,
and
I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve
dinner guests seated around the table chorused:
"Happy
Birthday!"

I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Apartment For Rent!

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for $500.
They did their thing, and, before he left,
he told her that he did not have any cash with him,
but he would have his secretary write
a cheque and mail it to her,
calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done,
realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price.
So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclose the following
typed note:

"Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your apartment.
I am not sending the amount agreed upon,
because when I rented the place,
I was under the impression that:

1 - it had never been occupied;

2 - there was plenty of heat; and

3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there
wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque
for $250 with the following note:

"Dear Sir:
First, I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment
to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size,
but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.

Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady.

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Crazy Fireman Sex

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife,

"You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:

BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings

and we all slide down the pol e, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

"From now on when I say BELL 1

I want you to strip naked.

When I say BELL 2

I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3

we are going to make love all night.

" The next night he came home from work and yelled

"BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed.

When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!"

"What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?


"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied "
YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

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It Could Be Difficult Sometimes To Be A Model

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The WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been
dating or over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me...It
was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore
very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would
regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than
a nice view.
Continue Below


It had to be deliberate because she never did it
when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to
come over to
check
the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to
me that she had
feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
overcome. She told me
that
she wanted me just once before I got married and
committed my life
to
her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a
word.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and
if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her
go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed
straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me
and said, "We are

very happy that you have passed our little test. We
couldn't ask for
better man for our daughter. Welcome to the
family!"
And the moral of this story is:

........Always keep your condoms in your car

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Adding ID Theft Protection To Homeowner's Insurance

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A - Z OF WHAT A VERY BEST FRIEND IS

A VERY BEST FRIEND IS...
(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells U the truth when U need 2 hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)- plain things you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and....
(Z)aps you back to reality...

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DO NOT VALUE FRIENDS?

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.
THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE W ROTE ON A STONE:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE ".

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE & nbsp;IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE FRIEND REPLIED
"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT."

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON, AN HOUR TO
APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY
TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN
AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM.

SEND THIS PHRASE TO
THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET. I JUST DID.

IF YOU DON'T
SEND IT TO ANYONE,
IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A
HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE
FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIEND S.
TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!

DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS
YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE
WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE !
AND IF I HAPPEN TO GET IT BACK,
THEN I KNOW MY PLACE IN YOUR LIFE"

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When You Love Someone !!!

When you love someone so deep inside,
It seems like it's so easy to hide.
You've loved him for so very long,
You would think he could do no wrong.

Every day you would hope and pray,
That he would always stay this way.
He treated you like you should be treated,
You thought your life was finally completed.

You thought your love was growing true,
And then one day it was all so blue.
He started putting you down and it hurt,
You thought all you were to him was dirt.

He started ignoring you and you wondered why,
All you wanted to do was curl up and die.
You thought your relationship would never end,
But that was all so fake and pretend.

One night he was so sweet to you,
You thought all those things were maybe untrue,
Two days later he was back the same,
You thought you were the one to blame.

He thought the relationship was getting too serious
And that you had become a little too curious.
By this time you knew it wouldn't last,
All the nice things he said were in the past.

You thought that you would marry him some day,
But this time God wanted to get his way.
You wanted things back how they were before,
But you knew this couldn't happen anymore.

It was a Saturday night about ten o'clock,
You heard the news and it wasn't a shock.
You knew this was going to happen soon,
As you laid there and cried in the pale lit moon.

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The Duck & the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!
In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes" But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen. "Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper."
Sally just smiled and said, "Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help" She whispered again, "Remember the duck?" So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help
After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.
Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you."
Thought for the day and every day thereafter. Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, e tc.)...whatever it is...You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.
He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness; He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved.
Go ahead and make the difference in someone's life today. Share this with a friend and always remember:
God is at the window!
When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!If you are one of the 93 % who will stand up for him forward this w/ the title, "I'm in the 93%"Would you believe 7% of people won't forward this?

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Wanna Be My Friend

wanna be my frnd..........

try this and rply.....

F(ew) ,

R(elations),

I(n) ,

E(arth) ,

N(ever) ,

D(ie)

that relation is a FRIEND.

Send this to all u r best friends even me if I am 1 of them. c how many u get back. If u get more than 5 u r really a lovable person

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You have just been PIMP KISSED!

""You have just been PIMP KISSED!
Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you.
something good will happen to you at 1:00- 4:00 pm tommorow, it could be anywere.
Get ready for the biggest shock in your life.
if you break this chain u will be cursed with realtionship problems for the next 10yrs.
Send this to 15people in 15min*"""

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who has a crush on u?...

""who has a crush on u?... man this is creepy its called mind reader. send this to every1 on ur list and then press F8 and ur crushes name will appear on ur screen"""

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TWO WOMEN MEET IN HEAVEN.

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I Froze to Death.

2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from thecold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peacefuldeath. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected thatmy husband was cheating on me so I came home early to catch him,but instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman theresomewhere that I started running all over the house looking for her. I ran upinto the attic and searched, and then down into the basement. Then Iwent through every closet and checked under all the beds. I keptthis up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became soexhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer --- we'd both still be alive.

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You mean you're not the instructor?

The photographer 4 a national mag. was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire.Smoke at the scene was 2 thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It'll b waiting 4 u at d airport!" he was assured by his editor.As soon as he got to d small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near d runway.He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!"D pilot swung d plane into d wind and soon dy were in the air."Fly over d north side of d fire," said d photographer, "and make 3 or 4 low level passes."Why?" asked d pilot."Bcos I'm going to take pictures!I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"said the photographer with great exasperation. After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?

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Heart

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Why is it so hard.........

""""""""Why is it so hard to tell the truth...yet so easy to tell a lie,
why do we sleep in the temple. but when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?,
why is it so hard to talk about God...but so easy to talk about sex?,
why are we so bored to look at a holy magazine... but so easy to read a playboy magazine?,
why is it so easy to delete a Godly offline messages ... yet we forward the nasty ones?
Why are temples getting smaller... but yet bars and clubs are growing??
.....think about it....are you going to forward this or delete it?
Just remember God is watching you if u love GOD then send this to everyone on your list.
Don't break this""""""

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YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY THE SEXY ROSE!!

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FRIENDHIP IS A BLESSING

Friendship is a blessing
it's the best you have to share,
The talents and the wisdom,
the capacity to care...
It's being there to lend support,
whatever needs arise,
It's making sure that others know they're special in your eyes...
Friendship is a blessing,
and, to all who have a friend,
it's one of the most precious gifts that life could ever send.

I am blessed to have you as a friend"

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8 PRINCIPLES OF TURNING YOUR VISION INTO REALITY

1. Invest in your vision, if you don't no one else will.

2. Build and maintain relationships because relationships are the key to longevity and success.

3. Build your visibility.

4. Associate yourself with successful people and knowledge.

5. Use the printed media to build your most critical success factor.

6. Have vision and nail down the business side.

7. Work with professional guidance because this brings objectivity, accountability and cut activity.

8. Watch for the new thing that God is doing and change with it."

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Send To At Least 1xxx People

"IF YOU'RE REALLY CRAZY IN LOVE WITH GOD SEND THIS MESSAGE TO AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE! ONE !""

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